The call from heaven

In the midst of tumultuous agitations,

Every weekend was like a beautiful baby

longing for its mother’s lap amidst people

longing for papers that are called ‘money’.

The weekend, not just for the break from the monotonous routine,

But for the call from heaven.

The call that made her forget her stressful blues,

That made her yearn to live longer,

That made her feel thankful that

Everyday would be a day filled with renewed hope and energy.

Fights, whinings, stories, advice...

The list went on.

There were only terse responses.

But still, she was happy for the caller was hers,

The caller held a heavenly position in her dreams of love.

Sometimes there was silence,

Sometimes there was magic,

Everytime the phone rang,

The bells started tinkling and she heard the caller’s voice

that acted as a prologue to the heavenly ritual.

Doubts of faith and trust lingered her mind,

Was it a ritual for everbody by the caller or just her?

Did everybody feel the magic or just her?

The game of love and affection interplayed with each other,

with the caller playing a mute spectator 

to the intricate thoughts swarming in her mind.

As she waits for the next call,

When the caller is free from the rituals of work,

The phone rings,

The call echoes in her ears

opening her to a new world of happiness and fantasies.

Mind 'It'

Give it some love,
Give it a fantasy to live for,

Give it a sane being to be with,
Give it a clear conscience,
It comes to life,

To make lies out of love,
To make fantasies of destruction,
To being insane
from a world of blissful sanity,
To make it believe
it has a clear conscience,

It , after all is the
nail of mind
on the cross of mankind.

The silent storm

Suppressed,subdued and muted in action,
Tearing thoughts with a deep spin.

An unreflective mind
looking beyond,
Burning down the memories,
Building the pyre of friendship.

It all began,
Afresh,anew,
clear and lucid,

with free will,
without hopes,
with spirit,
without expectations,

It all ended
with a difference of thoughts,
too difficult to be rationalized,
too deep to fathom,
like a mystifying painting.

Emotions clouded the mind,
Penetrating sarcasm,

Silence in action,
A storm of thoughts,

It blew away
forcefully,
as silently
as it came in...

A blind date

I stare at the keyboard,it looks like a piece of luscious cake waiting to be devoured and yet, it stays there, stoic and solid oblivious of the fact that it is going to be greedily pressed in to output gazillions of thoughts by the intelligentsia of the society. 

I have always had this perpetual problem while writing and I wonder if other writers suffer from this supposedly dangerous 'to-be-labeled' syndrome.  When I begin to write, I have a multitude of thoughts scoring against each other to reach the notepad and it creates an overwhelming urge to feel the keys in the keyboard, to hear that non-stop clicking sound that instills an imaginary proudness of being a fast 'qwerty-typer'.

As my finger tips reach the keyboard, the playground of keys that has been impassive for so long suddenly looks like it has sprung back to a solid state of senses, the thoughts that were crossing into each other so hurriedly have just vanished like  roads drying up in Chennai in the blink of an eye after a pleasant summery rain.

I look at the keyboard with a feeling of disgust.It has ruined my thoughts,my way of expressing my space where I exist and the imaginary proudness that had been building up within me.

I again wait for the numerous thoughts to compartmentalize and come out in an ordered form.

The waiting period is long and arduous.Thoughts are like people.A single thought that has been solidly formed loves to poke and prod into other thoughts,mix and match with them,analyze their process flow and finally forget its own flow of action.When all thoughts follow the same course of action,a feeling of nothingness is created in your mind.

 The nothingness has already been created and I start staring at the notepad for a change.I have heard that looking at white space can boost your energy levels and I start analyzing if the white space in notepad can trigger my thoughts and its backup of memories.Memories can be categorized into two - the kind that makes us feel connected,that brings a smile on our  tight-lipped faces when we revisit them,that makes us forget our trivial everyday chaos and relax a bit.The other kind tends to rewind those little aches in our heart and smoothens them every time we try to revisit them.

White works wonders on me.I look at it and I suddenly feel my thoughts are beginning to lose its fluidity and now when my finger tips reach the keys,the solid thoughts come out one by one like a neatly ordered stack of newspapers ( I hate unordered and crushed ones) without any free collisions.I am beginning to thank notepad profusely for reliving me from the indignant aversion that had been piling up against the 'blackie'.(I mean the black keyboard here.I'm surprised that a keyboard is beginning to deform me into a racist.)

I am a strong believer of words and a logophile. I love to experiment with words,witness the facial expressions that people show when they talk words that they don't comprehend or a gleeful smirk that some of them  show when they use a  word that none can comprehend.

As I start experimenting with the words, an innate joy builds up in me and I can feel the words shaping up into bubbles of action waiting to be pricked or blown up.

Being with words doesn't make you feel lonely at all.It makes you feel content in silence and happy in expression.

Words have power...A  world of existence or a war of destruction resides in a word.

I continue experimenting with them till the last sentence and once I'm done with it, I can see the diplomacy that notepad has attempted to maintain between the words and my mind ignoring the spelling mistakes,formatting errors and additionally there are no red curvy lines spilled all over my document.

The blind date with words is done for the day!!!

Too late for reoslutions???

Today is February..the next month after January(duh!!!)..one whole month of 2010 has just got over and I realize I haven't made any resolutions..I don't intend to follow it too strictly but I just want to be conscious of the resolutions I made..common..I'm making an effort to atleast resolve to do something nice and effective.It's not everyday that a lazy bum like me gets up and decides to make resolutions.. I deserve atleast a virtual applause guys..so here goes the list along with their level of difficulty..If u have made any resolutions similar to the ones I'm making,tell me about it..Let's do it together( break it together?)..

1.I am not getting paranoid when  a simple cold or fever attacks me..(I usually get tensed  about it and end up worrying  the whole day).

Rating:Hard

2.I am not going to be afraid and end up hiding behind a person when I see a street dog nor am I going to do directly look at its eyes..

Rating: Quite easy but demands effort...

3.I am not going to keep the phone in silent and end up missing all the important calls for the day.

Rating: Easy but pls remind me:P

4.I am not going to get paranoid about smelly bathrooms ...

Rating:Very difficult

5.I am not going to end up crying for everything..(:P I can see somebody smiling)

Rating: Hard but I'm going to try this out

6.I'm going to be more bothered about my life than others.

Rating: Simple yet difficult for women

7.I am going to do some regular exercises and pranayama whenever possible.

Rating:Slightly difficult

8.I'm not going to divulge out all the secrets I noe.In short, I won't be an ottavai..:P

Rating:Hard for women. No gossips..no secrets(this is the condition under which I would follow this resolution)

9.I am not going to watch any mega serials and wait anxiously for the climax the next day..

Rating: Simple as long as my mother doesn't watch it

10.I need to start learning to cook without keeping a notebook in front of me.( I mug up the recipe like I do it for a college test in the last min and I look at it everytime before I put any ingredient to check if i'm doing it right.)

Rating: Hard .Demands experience

11.I'm not going to be afraid of the dark...

Rating: Hard.  Lights on !!!!

12.I'm going to learn to say a no when I can't do it.( my dad's smiling!!)

Rating:Quite easy

13.I'm not going to get too emotionally attached to any of visuals I watch.(I usually get emotional for all the lovey-dovey movies)

Rating: Very difficult...

14.I'm not going to get fidgety when I don't do a work that matches my satisfactory levels.I'm going to relax. ( My satisfactory level is too high that I don't reach it usually .So I end up getting worked up.)

Rating: Difficult but can definitely try

15.Last:: no laziness..no tension

Rating: the most difficult one ...demands group work and effort..

These are my top fifteen resolutions for this year.The next year might have all of these again or just some of these or nothing at all.So every time I get conscious of these resolutions I made, I pat myself..Let's see how it goes...the ordeal begins!!!